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man. i got a lot of things on my mind today. i finished my book not too long ago and it was kinda sad to finish it. i was happy reading something again. so now i am reading like 3 books at once. my allergies are back and my chest hurts on the left side today. my arm feels slightly numb too but i figured it's just stress it usually is. not sure what i am stressed out about. i guess i'm also worried about money. my rent went up 45 bucks. i guess that isn't too much but i just wish it would stay the same all of the time. also i found out that Travis is moving to Louisiana. and Alex may be going to Chicago. Kinda sad when you think about ppl moving on. i recently pondered moving to Austin but then i i decided not to move out of Denton before 2010. my rent going up probably pissed me off a lot today. i wish it were new york where you could have a rent controlled apartment. i am also considering a big change a move in...but i am wondering what that will entail. like rules wise and we both have this thing about power. i feel i need it all and so does she...so then we might argue over the smallest of things. it is like i am just now getting used to the idea of living with her and then a wrench got thrown in the mix which made me stand off from it. i guess i would just need to know and feel sure that everything would be respectful and respected. no disrespect please. and also relationship wise i don't feel like we are where i want us to be exactly. but it is still probably better than it ever has been. or even if i knew what was expected of us each. might make a difference. i feel like i really need to get away. but i've gotten away a lot this half of a year as it is. so maybe i don't need too. but maybe i am used to getting away and so now i wanna. i really need a trip to Austin i think cuz i haven't been since...hmmm since i went with charlie and we saw the mentor. but i have no extra money for getting away!!! everything costs more. like food and rent and gas. maybe i need to spend fortune on getting my masters in something...nething and then i'll be ok.??? or not.